One of my struggles in following Christ is the misconception that followers of Christ are perfect people and have somehow moved past temptation, weakness, and sin. Sadly, this is not a just a judgment that the world makes. This view is held and taught in the church also. I know this because I’ve had to fight against it in my own mind and I was raised in the church. I grew up hearing believers speak of salvation as a magnificent change that brought about this spiritual renewal. While this may be accurate in many senses, it really doesn’t aid new believers if there is no discipleship to prepare for the day following their conversion.

As connected as I was in church growing up, it did little for my daily walk with Christ. Although I can point to problems with the Sunday School programs and Wednesday night services I attended, I realize that my lack of connection, to this God that had saved my soul, had much more to do with my home life.

Church was a very important aspect of our family. My parents served in multiple capacities; from children’s church to running the sound to aiding the start of church plants. I grew up Baptist, Methodist, and nondenominational. Within each church I saw the strengths and weaknesses firsthand, and yet I did not carry the same awareness in my own home.

In my home there was a priority placed on being at church every Sunday… and if you could not make it? God help you. Throughout the week we prayed before eating, read a Bible story occasionally before bed, listened to Christian music as we traveled out in the car. In all of this God was near, I just was not as near to him as I thought I was. It would be years later before I saw how stagnant my spiritual life had become. I mean… here I was… a new creature, and gripped in sin? I fear many believers find themselves in a similar place because Biblical truth has been watered down and reinterpreted by men.

Our religious ways separate us from the love our heavenly father has for us. Our failure to train disciples produces roots that wither at the sight of struggle. Our feel good Sunday messages have created whiny selfish brats within the pews.

How we have failed in this modern age being the light to our darkened world. I am guilty of this in my life in many areas… of allowing my focus to be compromised. However, to believe that I, only, am capable of meeting the needs of people across the world, much less my neighbor, is foolishness. I cannot serve God and be apart from God. Even if I were to try, I would find that my actions only reflected myself. Why? Because I am as human as a woman who listens to a snake and pulls a piece of fruit. Because I am as human as a man who strikes a rock because it worked before.

You see, I am not a perfect man and I will not be one in this lifetime. I interrupt my wife when I should listen to her, I tease my children when I should be reaching out to them in love, I act like I know what I am talking about and I really do not. This is a far from complete look at the struggles I face as a follower of Christ. It is in this imperfection I have to make a decision:

1. choose to live life for myself
2. deceive myself from dealing with who I am

Thankfully there is always a third option: run into the arms of a merciful God who looks past my imperfections, changes me, and allows me to see him in all of his splendor. How awesome it is to be loved so deeply that I am disciplined with conviction and strengthened by his word. Yes, I am a Christian. I do not have it all together. I am still trying to move past faulty teaching and bad mentalities. I need a savior to deliver me from me, and if you ever see me acting like I do not… please knock some sense into me.